A Cure For The Blues
I found the poem fascinating because of the point of view it was taken from, and the fact that, well, why would a new girlfriend write a poem about their current girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend whom they barely knew and met only once? Regardless of what went on in the relationship how often is a person met with discontent directed at them from the ex’s current main squeeze, I wondered. I then read through some other entries on the website and then really begin to feel like I had an inkling of who this person and the person they were talking about in the poem were, and by some of the things being discussed in other blog posts. It should have been the first thing I did, but it happened to be the last. I checked the blogroll, the links on the side bar to see if there were any and there were a few. Surprisingly, they were all pointing to some of the very same links that can be found on my blogroll. Not at all out of the ordinary, right?
I began to notice on my twitter page that this person, whom I recognized by the name of their blog, was communicating with some of the same people I talk to on twitter. They were mostly people I’ve only met since I started blogging earlier this year, not even the people in my everyday offline life so I didn’t think much of it, yet, but the wheels in my head were grinding at that point. Without a picture on the twitter link, I could only guess. I had a nagging suspicion that perhaps it could be someone that knew me or knows me in real life, but this person is obviously a more masculine-identified lesbian so who could she be? None of my buddies were as computer inclined as I, nor did they want to be, nor would they write such a poem about me, hell, they’d just tell me, so who was this mystery person.
One particular night I noticed that they were engaged in heavy conversation with one of my blog buddies on twitter and since their page was unprotected I went to it and saw that they’d indicated that their girlfriend was on her way home from work. My first thought was maybe, possibly, fat chance, but what the hell, I may as well wing it and call my ex to see if she knew anything about it. I knew she’d probably be on her way home from work. So I called and she answered. I ask if her girlfriend has a blog that was started early in June. She doesn’t give me any direct answers to any of my questions and she doesn’t have to give them to me either, but I press on anyway, asking if she has ever heard of the title of the poem. She says not really. I tell her I can read it to her, but she declines. She does say that her girlfriend has a couple of personal blogs she’s been writing and working on. I could believe it, I mean, those who blog know how easy it is to feel the need or satisfy the desire and urge to write and work on as many projects as we can muster. So, fine, she didn’t know for sure but knowing her I already had my answer. I knew for sure. I decided that the blog was either hers or her current girlfriend’s. I even ribbed her a little about not knowing what her ex-girlfriend was writing about, and I asked why she wasn’t on her girlfriend’s twitter page, but these were all things I said to really confirm my suspicions. We ended the call after 45 minutes of talking about this and that and me clearing the air and trying to convince her that I wasn’t upset about the blog, which she kept asking me if I was. Sheesh, I was more intrigued by it than anything. I also asked her if she found it odd that of all the millions of blogs out in the blogosphere, I think something like 347,000 blogs were created on WordPress alone last month, that she just happened upon my network of bloggers and it was purely coincidental that she’s blogging with, commenting on, and twittering with the same people I do on an almost daily basis since I began writing again. She found nothing odd or surprising about it. I said cool. I wanted to end the call earlier, but I allowed it to continue before it came to a close. Actually, she’d finally made it home and that prompted her to end the call.
The very next day I noticed that both she and girlfriend’s twitter pages were protected. That made me giggle like a school girl. Twitter identity confirmed. I was able to see that she was finally on her girlfriend’s twitter page as well. I checked the blog later in the week and saw that there was a follow-up post explaining the poem that I’d read and commented on previously, indicating that it wasn’t about anyone in particular even though the title alone had implications directly relating to my website’s name. Blog identity: confirmed. Not to mention, it described in poetic detail what she really thought of me and our affair/relationship over the course of the 2+ years it raged on. And there was this. Never have I ever come across a poem that I immediately, perhaps even conceitedly, thought was about me or written about my life or love escapades, regardless of any minor or major embellishments included for impact. Not even with poems written for me by women I’ve cared for in my lifetime has that happened, until that day. All is fair, right? I’m beginning to realize how true that is with the passing of the ages and it was key for me. In some sense I feel that I deserve the invasion, as I felt it was initially, and that it was a long time coming, but it’s still surprising in many respects. Another part of me simply doesn’t understand why or how or if I should even care about my ex and her new girlfriend’s direct/indirect involvement in what I used to considered, my online haven.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em? Or maybe it could be that I bite back far less once I’ve kicked the habit. See, sometimes I just can’t help myself. But the point of this long ass drawn out drivel is that if my ex and her girl are going to be in and around my cyber social world, which they are, it won’t deter me from cultivating my own piece of mind – mine nor will me being me deter them from writing wonderful poetry together. Happy Anniversary you two; much deserved happiness, peace, and love be onto you.
Honestly, If I had the past to do all over again, I would, but I know that I would still somehow become genuine acquaintances with some of the people I’ve encountered since I started seriously blogging and writing again. I refuse to believe that none of these things would be possible had I not made it through the storm and picked up my pen and pad.
With that said, blogging is a ton of fun, and I’m sure they are both enjoying it as much as I am. Matter of fact, one of my buddies just started her new wordpress blog today. I’m telling you, this stuff can be addicting! My curious blues are no longer curious or blue, and sometimes the truth really is stranger than fiction. Heck, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Peace & Love.
image credit: Vlad Gerasimov