Comments on: How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Affair? http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/ Sex | StudwithSwag.com | Relationships | News | Politics | Current Events & Pop Culture Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:21:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: hoc ncna http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3374 hoc ncna Sat, 28 Jan 2012 09:45:09 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3374 i have a boy friend, but we not feel happy, and everytime, i want to he back. i really love him so much. i have a boy friend, but we not feel happy, and everytime, i want to he back. i really love him so much.

]]> By: hoc quan tri mang http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3373 hoc quan tri mang Sat, 28 Jan 2012 09:41:26 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3373 thanks for sharing. sometimes, i don't what the way i feel it thanks for sharing. sometimes, i don't what the way i feel it

]]> By: heavyheart http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3361 heavyheart Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:41:51 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3361 How have you gotten through the separation of being away from your affair partner? How have you gotten through the separation of being away from your affair partner?

]]> By: The Other Woman http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3355 The Other Woman Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:51:03 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3355 Peter, I understand what you are going through. I am a single woman trying to end a 7 months affair with a married man who lives in another state. We met 20 years ago, both went on with our lives and got back in touch last summer. Due to home circumstances, he cannot leave although I know he wants desperately to be with me. And I desperately want to be with him. I wake up missing him, miss him during the day and it kills me to think I may go the rest of my life without seeing him. I've thought a lot about affairs and I'm guessing that if she left her husband you would be with her. Mostly it sounds like fear of change for both of you. After saying all that, is it really fair what your doing to your wife? I'm not saying this to condemn, but from a realistic point of view, how can you fully focus on your wife if you are missing this woman terribly? I understand that. The person I was involved with went beyond the excitement of an affair. We had a real heart-to-heart connection that I've never felt before (we're both 45 so we've been around the block.) Perhaps you need to imagine 10 years down the road with your wife and your lover. This goes against a lot of what most people believe, but if you found your soulmate, and it feels like your lost without her, shouldn't you be with her? BTW, I divorced 7 years ago. Got out of a marriage that "wasn't bad" but I really felt like I was suffocating and knew I couldn't be happy. I have no regrets over the divorce. Peter, I understand what you are going through. I am a single woman trying to end a 7 months affair with a married man who lives in another state. We met 20 years ago, both went on with our lives and got back in touch last summer. Due to home circumstances, he cannot leave although I know he wants desperately to be with me. And I desperately want to be with him. I wake up missing him, miss him during the day and it kills me to think I may go the rest of my life without seeing him.

I've thought a lot about affairs and I'm guessing that if she left her husband you would be with her. Mostly it sounds like fear of change for both of you. After saying all that, is it really fair what your doing to your wife? I'm not saying this to condemn, but from a realistic point of view, how can you fully focus on your wife if you are missing this woman terribly? I understand that. The person I was involved with went beyond the excitement of an affair. We had a real heart-to-heart connection that I've never felt before (we're both 45 so we've been around the block.) Perhaps you need to imagine 10 years down the road with your wife and your lover. This goes against a lot of what most people believe, but if you found your soulmate, and it feels like your lost without her, shouldn't you be with her?

BTW, I divorced 7 years ago. Got out of a marriage that "wasn't bad" but I really felt like I was suffocating and knew I couldn't be happy. I have no regrets over the divorce.

]]> By: cocopuff http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3352 cocopuff Sat, 14 Jan 2012 23:49:07 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3352 i could have written this myself...Thank God for supportive, forgiving husbands. i could have written this myself…Thank God for supportive, forgiving husbands.

]]> By: wounded http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3348 wounded Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:45:02 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3348 I would really think this through carefully. Is the person you cheated on emotionally healthy? Does he or she have any unresolved trauma, i.e. abuse, death of a loved one, abandonment, etc.? If this is the case, it might be a double sunami and I would definitely not tell. It will already be a sunami if you tell. Be prepared for the most intense emotional roller-coaster of your life. For some, it is almost like a death. I would really think this through carefully. Is the person you cheated on emotionally healthy? Does he or she have any unresolved trauma, i.e. abuse, death of a loved one, abandonment, etc.? If this is the case, it might be a double sunami and I would definitely not tell. It will already be a sunami if you tell. Be prepared for the most intense emotional roller-coaster of your life. For some, it is almost like a death.

]]> By: wounded http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3347 wounded Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:37:05 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3347 I am dealing with exactly with what you are feeling. It has been 27 mos. since my husband cheated on me w/ some tramp that he worked with. I am on anti-depressants, have many times binged on alcohol and even been abusive towards him. The rage within me is so overwhelming that I can understand the emotion that leads someone to kill their spouse. I would never do it, but the feelings of rage and anger are so intense. We were married 16 yrs when this happened and have 4 children. I can't understand how my best friend could do this to me. I also feel as though this will never end and I cannot get over it. You are right, Roxie. Something does die inside of you. The only thing that is carrying me through is my faith in God. Without His Grace, I cannot do this. It is so hard to forgive!! I know it is a decision and an act of the will. It's the times of anger and non-stop bouts of crying that are so hard. He has done everything he possibly can to try to make up for his sin and I always have some reminder (tv, internet, pics, news articles) it seems as if it's never ending. I will pray for you and others that have experience this horrible and undeserved suffering. I am dealing with exactly with what you are feeling. It has been 27 mos. since my husband cheated on me w/ some tramp that he worked with. I am on anti-depressants, have many times binged on alcohol and even been abusive towards him. The rage within me is so overwhelming that I can understand the emotion that leads someone to kill their spouse. I would never do it, but the feelings of rage and anger are so intense. We were married 16 yrs when this happened and have 4 children. I can't understand how my best friend could do this to me. I also feel as though this will never end and I cannot get over it. You are right, Roxie. Something does die inside of you. The only thing that is carrying me through is my faith in God. Without His Grace, I cannot do this. It is so hard to forgive!! I know it is a decision and an act of the will. It's the times of anger and non-stop bouts of crying that are so hard. He has done everything he possibly can to try to make up for his sin and I always have some reminder (tv, internet, pics, news articles) it seems as if it's never ending. I will pray for you and others that have experience this horrible and undeserved suffering.

]]> By: Peter http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3345 Peter Fri, 13 Jan 2012 01:52:35 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3345 Hi everyone. I am almost three years out of an affair with a maried work colleague. My wife threw me out and I lived alone for some time. Eventually my wife and I got back together and are constantly working on our marriage. The problem is I see my exlover regularly in the street (We don't speak), My wife has put a total contact ban on us (which I fully understand) and which I am observing religously. However every time I see my ex lover I almost fall to pieces. The truth is I am still totaly crazy about her. To me she is my perfect woman.I'm going completly nuts and pining for her like a kid that's lost its mom. It's ot because I miss the excitement of the affair, that's not what it was about. We'd knwn eachother for years before it happened. The wierd thing is that everything is oing OK at home and we seem to be moving on. I just miss my lover like a lost limb. I think we were soulmates, the thing is that there is a balance of fear between us. I;m sure she is living under a contact ban too, although it did end badly. SO I simply don't know if she dsen't wat anything more to do with me or is shejust playing safe and observing the ban like me. I can't check it out because it's soooooooooo damn dangerous. If I contact her will she tell her husband who will tell my wife. does she think I hate her and is keeping her head down and her dignity. All I know is even after all this time I'm ABSOLUTELY NUTS about her and miss her like crazy. I'd die to contact her and put hings straight - but I'd proably die if I did!!!! To be honest I'm in a really really really bad way. I wsh it was just the excitement of the affair I miss - but it's not, it's the true love and appreciation we shared which built up over years working together. She really is my perfect woman. I have a real dilemma and am going nuts. HELP111 Hi everyone. I am almost three years out of an affair with a maried work colleague. My wife threw me out and I lived alone for some time. Eventually my wife and I got back together and are constantly working on our marriage. The problem is I see my exlover regularly in the street (We don't speak), My wife has put a total contact ban on us (which I fully understand) and which I am observing religously. However every time I see my ex lover I almost fall to pieces. The truth is I am still totaly crazy about her. To me she is my perfect woman.I'm going completly nuts and pining for her like a kid that's lost its mom. It's ot because I miss the excitement of the affair, that's not what it was about. We'd knwn eachother for years before it happened. The wierd thing is that everything is oing OK at home and we seem to be moving on. I just miss my lover like a lost limb. I think we were soulmates, the thing is that there is a balance of fear between us. I;m sure she is living under a contact ban too, although it did end badly. SO I simply don't know if she dsen't wat anything more to do with me or is shejust playing safe and observing the ban like me. I can't check it out because it's soooooooooo damn dangerous. If I contact her will she tell her husband who will tell my wife. does she think I hate her and is keeping her head down and her dignity. All I know is even after all this time I'm ABSOLUTELY NUTS about her and miss her like crazy. I'd die to contact her and put hings straight – but I'd proably die if I did!!!! To be honest I'm in a really really really bad way. I wsh it was just the excitement of the affair I miss – but it's not, it's the true love and appreciation we shared which built up over years working together. She really is my perfect woman. I have a real dilemma and am going nuts. HELP111

]]> By: Trapped http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3343 Trapped Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:26:37 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3343 Wow! I can really relate to so much that is being said here. My affair (of 18mths) recently ended (her decision) I guess because I couldn't get things together and leave my wife to be with her quick enough. There are so many emotions going through my head. There also have been many things brought into question for me this week about what really was going on with her...and with us in the last few months. Possibly that there were other guys and/or is someone else in her life now. I am so broken hearted about everything too, because she had become my dearest and closest friend. I miss her so much every minute of everyday. I really had felt that we were meant to be together. Now, I don't even know how to pick up the pieces. I don't even know how to put my life back together or where to start. To have come so close to losing my family. I feel like the most horrible person on this planet right now. I don't deserve the love of my family that is for sure. I can't bare to look at myself in the mirror. I can't bare to be in my own skin. Wow! I can really relate to so much that is being said here. My affair (of 18mths) recently ended (her decision) I guess because I couldn't get things together and leave my wife to be with her quick enough. There are so many emotions going through my head. There also have been many things brought into question for me this week about what really was going on with her…and with us in the last few months. Possibly that there were other guys and/or is someone else in her life now. I am so broken hearted about everything too, because she had become my dearest and closest friend. I miss her so much every minute of everyday. I really had felt that we were meant to be together. Now, I don't even know how to pick up the pieces. I don't even know how to put my life back together or where to start. To have come so close to losing my family. I feel like the most horrible person on this planet right now. I don't deserve the love of my family that is for sure. I can't bare to look at myself in the mirror. I can't bare to be in my own skin.

]]> By: betrayed http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/comment-page-1/#comment-3341 betrayed Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:15:54 +0000 http://studwithswag.com/?p=2643#comment-3341 My husband confided last night that he had an affair. He had asked for a divorce in the summer and I wanted to work on the marriage, he had denied ever cheating. A part of me always wondered, since he is gone so much. I have been neglected for years, not loved. But the last several months have felt like it used to when we first married. I had no idea he had stopped the affair and was trying just as i was, but he could'nt really connect without telling me the truth. So he told me and is anwering all my questions about this relationship that lasted about a year. I think I want to work things out, but this is soooo difficult. I keep imagining him with her. I only hope that fades. Im not sure how i can be physical with him, knowing what I know. He feels horrible and admitted that he wanted to divorce so he wouldnt have to tell me and he could free me to be loved by someone else. I am hopeful that with honesty and him seeing the grass on the other side and choosing our marriage that this can be repaired. This is the worst pain ever, and having two daughters and hope to god no one ever does this to them My husband confided last night that he had an affair. He had asked for a divorce in the summer and I wanted to work on the marriage, he had denied ever cheating. A part of me always wondered, since he is gone so much. I have been neglected for years, not loved. But the last several months have felt like it used to when we first married. I had no idea he had stopped the affair and was trying just as i was, but he could’nt really connect without telling me the truth. So he told me and is anwering all my questions about this relationship that lasted about a year. I think I want to work things out, but this is soooo difficult. I keep imagining him with her. I only hope that fades. Im not sure how i can be physical with him, knowing what I know. He feels horrible and admitted that he wanted to divorce so he wouldnt have to tell me and he could free me to be loved by someone else. I am hopeful that with honesty and him seeing the grass on the other side and choosing our marriage that this can be repaired. This is the worst pain ever, and having two daughters and hope to god no one ever does this to them

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