When The Mistress Feels Cheated

To ensure there was no doubt he spelt it out: “I was unfaithful, I had affairs, I cheated. What I did was unacceptable. – Tiger Woods

You know something is wrong when the mistress feels more cheated than the girlfriend or wife. The very definition of cheat[ing] in comparison to the nature of a committed relationship presents one hell of a messy contradiction. More telling is when the other woman feels slighted when apologies are made public to family and friends for indescretions, but not to her.  And that’s the thing about fantasies and affairs even after they are over. They provide an amazing fantasy world in a warped reality until warp speed malfunctions and fake bliss comes to a screeching halt.

It brings me to Tiger Woods recent apology about his affairs and the aftermath that continues to follow him since they became public. A horde of women have come forward to proudly declare themselves Tiger’s willing mistresses. This has been quite the eye opener since mistresses typically do not receive welcome receptions after affairs are brought to light. It’s also out of the ordinary for them to be so forthcoming about their role, especially with prior knowledge of a wife or girlfriend or worse, children. With that said, my interest in this has everything to do with contrasting the differences between lesbian and heterosexual affairs and expectations at the aftermath.

When my affair ended, I still cared about the feelings of my other woman. So much so that I was still calling her my “ex-girlfriend” when the truth was, she was my mistress, i.e., other woman (OW). I carried on as if she was simply an ex that I was naughty with, and she reciprocated those sentiments because that’s exactly what I told her she was. I said it multiple times during the course of the affair. In retrospect, I believe it was a last ditch attempt to continue to downplay, in whatever way I could muster, the truest nature of the relationship. When I begin blogging about it, I was reinforcing  that title, while also putting my prior actions on blast.

I was ready to come to terms with some of the lies, but not all because I was convinced of a truth based on lies. Deep down, no matter what I lead her or anyone else to believe, the relationship was fabricated and unfair to both women. It’s difficult to explain deep seated feelings in the midst of infidelity because while those feelings are very real, they can assist in continuing to distort reality because they are more real than any lie you’ve ever told. In that sense, they become a convenient excuse to continue down a path leading to nowhere. But at the end of the day, a lie is still a lie.

I read blogs authored by former and current mistresses and other women. I wanted to understand their perspective. My intent was to gauge how my ex-OW might have felt at the time that I started writing. I wondered if she felt the same as most of these OW’s. That staying with the wife or girlfriend is punishment in and of itself since things were so bad you resorted to having an affair. This is because they believed every negative piece ever said about the wife or girlfriend. Many believe the person they cheated with has moved on to someone else, is having sex with someone other than the girlfriend, or that sex with the girlfriend is punishment enough because they couldn’t possibly be satisfying in bed since you stepped out on them.

Let me tell you, these assumptions couldn’t be any further from the truth. When I was involved in the affair, it was not for lack of an already completely fulfilling sex life. The intimacy between my girlfriend and I was passionate, which made the discovery of the affair all the more hurtful. Most affairs have little to do with a lack of sex and more to do with emotional immaturity and wanting our cake and eating it too. The sexual aspect may be most telling in multiple instances of one night stands, or random hookups,  but most affairs are born of an emotional intimacy.

What I took away from those blog posts was that other woman tend to feel some manner of fierce resentment toward the girlfriend or wife that decides to stay. If the cheater wants to salvage the relationship there remains lasting resentment that manifests itself even a year after the fact. It’s understandable seeing as there are two sides to every story, but affairs can have up to three of four sides of a story depending on the circumstanes and parties involved.

If I could re-write some of my initial blog posts, I would, but I won’t because I want to be able to gauge my progress years from now. The point of this entry is to reinforce in my mindset that the responsibility of a cheating spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or lover when the affair has ended is to make amends to the person who hurts the most. There is no responsibility to the other woman or mistress, but to be able to one day clear my conscious and heal, I couldn’t help but feel for my ex-OW. As devastating as that thought may be, public apologies are only owed and should be reserved for the woman most deserving; the wife or girlfriend.

A short apology via e-mail, letter, or phone could prove beneficial and thrwat off retribution by the OW, but if the apology is not accepted, DO NOT dwell on it. Move on. Her feelings and emotions do matter but the greatest and only responsibility is to family.

It’s sickening to watch some of Tiger’s mistresses demand apologies and hire lawyers with ill intent. They all knew of Tiger’s home life and if they didn’t they could have google’d it. They knew he had a wife and two children regardless of any lies he told. Elin is the only woman in the position to make demands. The odds of her receiving an apology, public or private, from all of Tiger’s mistresses are slim.

I apologized to my OW until I was blue in the face and then apologized some more. If I had it to do all over again, I would say nothing. My apologies caused my girlfriend and OW additional hurt. Not only because I wasn’t directing 100% of my efforts on her and our relationship, but because my ex-mistress felt entitled to her apology and harbored hurt feelings. The title I gave her throughout the course of the affair caused her to feel entitled. It would seem absurd for any of Tiger’s mistresses to be upset with Elin. When personal attacks are directed at the cheaters girlfriend or wife, it is unacceptable. I caution any reformed cheater who wants to save their relationship to focus all energy into the woman who is truly entitled.

Comments

comments

Comments

29 Responses to “When The Mistress Feels Cheated”
  1. bfears says:

    i agree with u 100%. me and a friend of mine were actually talking about this earlier today. OWs have become more than what they are the OTHER WOMAN! which means in essence they are extra, the other, not the main. nowadays the OW is wanting wifey privileges and thats not the case. A month ago my ex-OW wrote my girlfriend on myspace telling her everything. even in it, she said "i know it was just a fling but…" key word it a FLING. she knew i had a girlfriend. OWs need to stay in their lane! they are doing too much nowadays.

  2. missy obvious says:

    I do agree with you on one hand – especially in the Tiger Woods case, and maybe I am naive but I was with my married man for 11 years. A "sorry" from him for fucking up all of my 20's would have been nice.

    • Knowledge says:

      Missy, you're right. I know that with every instance of cheating, someone's going to get hurt. It isn't just one or two people, but normally there are three people filling the hurt and pain void, and in some cases, a whole lot more. In Tiger's situation, there were so many women he had affairs with, they had to not only have known about each other, but more importantly his wife. The fact that they were so voal and loud about their roles, knowing good and well he was married the entire time, made their claims all the more disillusioned, in my opinion. As for your situation, you have every right to have expected at the very least, an apology.

      The apology is for the hurt suffered and endured, and less about being knowledgeable about each others primary relatonships, especially when you have a married man carrying on with one other woman. I understand that wholeheartedly, but there are also times when you've given those apologies over and over again and the other woman never deems them to be good enough, let alone a decent start.

      Tiger owed it to his wife and mistresses, but when they put themselves at the forefront without allowing his wife a chance to stand on her public soap box to garner deserved sympathy, my own sympathy for some of the other women dwindled considerably.

      Eleven years is almost a marriage in many respects. He owes you far more than an apology and I'm sorry you didn't get that.

  3. wakingpersephone says:

    "What I took away from those blog posts was that other woman tend to feel some manner of fierce resentment toward the girlfriend or wife that decides to stay. If the cheater wants to salvage the relationship there remains lasting resentment that manifests itself even a year after the fact."

    I think you need to understand that not every "OW" is this emotionally immature or naive about what they are getting into when they choose to engage with a married man. Some OW do love the men they are involved with and want the best for them even if that means they don't end up together.

    Many of these blogs, I've noticed, are written by women who don't actually come to ANY conclusions (at least publicly) about WHY they did what they did interestingly enough. There's a distinct lack of personal responsibility and when it does start to rear its head it's usually quickly followed by excuses and resentment and blame–women going so far as to imply they were kept in that situation by the man. As though they had no choice in the matter.

    And on Tiger's "mistresses". Those women betrayed him as much as he betrayed his wife. He owes them no public apology. That's like asking his wife to apologize to him publicly for any problems in their marriage. It's ridiculous.

  4. Knowledge says:

    The reason for some of my earlier blogs were born of frustration at some of the things you mention. Some lack of personal responsility did exist, but it was not understood by some people from the point of view you've so accurately illustrated above.

    There is nothing you've written that I disagree with. Ultimately, full responsility lay with me, but you're also correct in saying that everyone involved has choice. Thanks for the unique perspective (that of the other woman.)

  5. wakingpersephone says:

    I'm sorry, you misunderstand me–perhaps I didn't word this well at all. I didn't mean that YOU had a lack of personal responsibility…I was referring to the OW blogs that I've read online. I haven't seen any that talk about their real reasons for having an affair or what they really learned from it etc. All I ever see is a lot of anger and resentment–you mentioned this in your blog post-(the anger and resentment you'd been seeing from OW, particularly about wives and gf who choose to stay with the cheating partner and work on the relationship–I agree with you) .

    In fact I've seen the exact opposite with the person who has been attached or married and chosen to have the affair–when THEY write blogs about it they DO examine their reasons and their choices and take responsibility for them.

    I certainly haven't read every entry on every OW blog online but I haven't come across one yet that has made me stop and say oh, I never thought of that.. I'm not sure why that is. ?
    .-= wakingpersephone´s last blog ..limbo is over =-.

  6. Naomi says:

    I do not agree with any of what you have said. This is absolutely built to remain in your own denial of the actions you placed on not only the woman you cheated on but the woman you cheated with. The OW as so beautifully expressed is a human being with feelings, perhaps at one point and time she lied to herself and convinced herself that she was running from love and she was looking to find someone inaccessible, but in all reality the other woman is looking for the same thing all human beings look for TO BE LOVED. To treat the woman because she made a choice to run to a man who stated to her what it was going to be like, to treat her with no dignity and no respect does not negate the fact that you have hurt her just as much as you have hurt the woman you cheated on, you allowed her to be mislead on one level or another, perhaps she also played a role but this does not negate the fact that the yearning part in her heart was seeking to be loved, she did not need to have her life placed on hold for you yet a part of her which lied about who you are told herself that you might eventually see the value she has. Just because she may have chosen this role aware of the consequences does not mean that she is not human and will not feel and does not deserve for you to at least admit that you used her like she was not human.

  7. Naomi says:

    Exactly!

  8. Naomi says:

    Of course the wife deserves sympathy, and of course the woman who played the role must face what they have done in the circumstances. But what irks me, what really gets me is that all of this takes away from the idea that the man who placed both his wife and the other women in this role takes no responsibility. Perhaps the reason that a man can apologize until he is blue in the face but never get the accepted apology is because until the man faces up to the hurt he causes by creating this three ring circus triangle will never be a real apology until he actually accepts the actions he has taken and admits to himself who he really is as a result of not only playing just one or two women but many.

  9. Naomi says:

    "Many of these blogs, I’ve noticed, are written by women who don’t actually come to ANY conclusions (at least publicly) about WHY they did what they did interestingly enough. There’s a distinct lack of personal responsibility and when it does start to rear its head it’s usually quickly followed by excuses and resentment and blame–women going so far as to imply they were kept in that situation by the man. As though they had no choice in the matter."

    I am the other woman and I will tell you why I did/do it. I did it before because I was tired of being the woman hurt by men who treated me while being the primary woman as if I was nothing while the fantasy woman out there held such importance, than I started to fall in love and I guess always sought love and just sought it in the wrong way. I stay now, not because I have a chocie, I would be gone if I could, but love is a strong force, love is hard to endure and much harder when the man you are with keeps promising he will change and will make things better and never does… until a woman has enough self respect and dignity for herself she will not walk away, but to say that this woman deserves it, its just like saying this woman doesn't deserve to be loved.

  10. Lori says:

    If she knew he was married, too darn bad.

  11. S.GHOSH says:

    I.think the other deserves no sympathy. In my case she is a married colleague of my husband.They continued relationship even after I found out.She tried to disturb me by messaging me she would get my daughter raped.Recently I complained to husbands boss about it. That stopped their secret meetings.I wish I had done this earlier.

  12. MissClicks says:

    I would like to comment as a former OW. I entered into a relationship with a married man who painted a picture of a very lonely, misunderstood man who rarely got physical affection and who was low on the list of priorities of his wife. He was a man who had an enormously big ego and a dangerously low sense of self-esteem. This combination put him directly in the path of an affair, it just happened to be me who was the person he entered into one with. I realize now that he was very manipulative, self-absorbed, self-serving, and really not concerned about anyone but himself. I also was selfish, self-absorbed, demanding, mercurial and generally miserable throughout the entire 3 years. I have seen blog entries I wrote describing how I wanted to end it that began in the first 8 months of our 'relationship'.

    The point is, I tried to take something that did not belong to me, from someone who had no intentions of giving it up. He manipulated me as long as I let him. He lied to me as long as I believed his lies. The only common denominator in all of my problems is, of course, me.

    I was morbidly curious about his life, his wife, but I never asked, because I would never give him the satisfaction of thinking i cared. ( I did.) In the beginning, she represented the only obstacle that was preventing me from being with the man that I thought that I wanted. In hindsight, I see it was always him preventing movement forward. As it turned out, his wife had her own giant secret, (which wasn't about an affair), which I believe prevented her from being overly curious about any of his activities, lest he do the same to her. She seems like a very smart, interesting woman and I honestly hope he doesn't do this to her again, although it really wouldn't surprise me, considering the depth of his need to be important, in the shadow of a powerful and successful woman.

    I am so grateful that I started to see the reality of the situation (although it was way overdue) and rapidly moved away from this sucking cesspool of need. Ironically, as I pulled away, he began to claw his way closer and more desperately. At the same time, I began dating a new man, who was a stark contrast to what I was used to. He was always available, always honest, didn't have any stake in trying to make me think about things his way, let me be myself, and always appreciated me for what I was, not for what he wanted me to be. In time (3 months) this truth became crystal clear. I saw that I was a victim of my own flawed thinking. The paradigm i created about my relationship with my MM was completely false, and totally destructive. It has taken me 3 years to heal from the damage I caused MYSELF, and I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned.

    I will never, ever council a friend to continue any relationship with a married or attached individual, no matter what the circumstances. If it's over, get out. Then start something fresh. But accepting someone else's 'scraps' is hardly a soul-affirming activity, and in reality, it is the quickest way to move further and further away from who you really are. If my own self-esteem hadn't been in the toilet, I would have never accepted less than I deserve in life. You can hate the OW if you choose, but most times she is being deceived by someone who enjoys having his cake and eating it too. No OW is innocent if she is aware that her man is married, but you must remember that she clearly believes it is going somewhere, and that is because she has been led to believe that it is going someone.

    If your spouse cheats, you can vilify the OW (or OM), but the reality is, that your man or woman is the driver in his life, and he is choosing this path and is controlling the journey. We are responsible for our own actions, whatever they may be. Whether you like it or not, the OW is not responsible for your pain. She is responsible for the pain she is going to feel when this relationship implodes (and make no mistake, she WILL feel it). You and your spouse are responsible for whatever breakdowns occurred in your relationship that allowed such a breach of trust to take place. We are all responsible for our own actions and feelings. I control me. You control you.

    • happily single says:

      I agree with you. I was the OW. Its the man that continues to keep coming back and pulling the OW back into the game. The wife should be looking at her husband closer and the lies and games that he plays with both women. The man I was seeing kept telling me that he was divorcing. I finally realized he wasn't divorcing, but just playing games with me and his wife. Its all a big game. I feel sorry for the wives that have to live with a man like this. The quicker you get out the better off both the wife and OW are.

    • ana says:

      oh my Gosh its like we had the same man…
      though mine had no shame whatsoever, after letting his girlfriend to be with me and took him home ,
      I found out he had already started a relationship with an OW!!
      He now puts the blame on me, for breaking up with his girlfriend and wants me out of his life..
      I now feel how she feels he said…broken
      I am glad its over and I don't want to look back

  13. Mimi says:

    I would agree with this except that most cheaters lie about having a wife or girlfriend to begin with. So yes the cheater should apologize to both. The thing that I find incredible is the complete selfishness of the cheater and lack of accountability for their behaviour and how it affects others. When you do hurtful things to people and it's wrong you apologize end of discussion.

    • Danni says:

      an apology is nothing-it implies the apology should be accepted and then all is well. Destroying someone's life is not covered by an apology. What cheater's deserve is the same destruction returned in kind. And I have.

  14. alice says:

    In my not-so-humble opinion, I am sorry I do not agree about 'responsibility' to the wife/girlfriend but the OW. You have hurt both equally. You have done damages to their emotional well being equally. You are responsible for both ladies that you toyed with their emotions. They are the same emotionally fragile, and effected by your behavior, your lies and your lead on. You broke both women's heart, not just one or the other and try to logically explained to yourself who you should be MORE responsible for so it make you feel better.
    This post is more than a while back now. I hope you are finally moved on and heal, and most importantly I hope your girlfriend and your OW not only forgave you but also healed themselves from all the damages you have caused.

  15. Mia says:

    The OW deserves no apology whatsoever! Especially if she had knowledge of the man being a married man. Nowadays there are no excuses in finding out if the man you are dating is single or not. We are living in a world now that technology is at our fingertips. We can go on the Internet in the comfort of our homes and discover if the man you are dating is married or not. I think some of these mistresses have some form of mental illness. When you venture to do other things like hire a babysitter, move to a new neughborhood or search for a home for the elderly. What do most of us do? We search the Internet to inquire on the background to ensure safety. Right? Why not do it for relationships also? Because to put yourself in a situation where you know it is wrong and expect something righteous out of it is on the verge of insanity. I can't feel sorry and say they deserve apologies. Do your homework and verify. Some married men tell them from the beginning that they will not leave their wife. They still remain in the affair. But somehow they are so foolish into believing that the married man is somehow going to change his mind and leave his wife! I say they are masochist. They like torture! When the mistress was having her fun with the married man was she thinking about the wife. Did she care about the pain this will cause the wife and children. Scars that remains with you for life. She didn't care about apology when everything was going her way. It is only when the affair is discovered or the married man wants to end it and everything comes to a screeching halt is when they think they deserve an apology! They even use blackmailing tactics in order to retain the married man. Really? Are they ready to apologize to the wife and stop hiding behind 'I didn't know he was married'. Trust me a majority of mistresses know they are messing around a married man and if they don't know. That is no excuse! They just don't care. NO APOLOGIES! Find your own. Make sure he is single and you wouldn't need an apology. Maybe when you get your own husband and he cheats on you see if you want your husband apologizing to her!!

  16. Dedicated Melinda W. says:

    How is a woman or man who willingly enters a relationship with a married person entitled to anything especially an apology? First you knew upfront he/she was lieing and cheating he/she lied to his spouse daily about you and was willing to cheat with you (if not you, then some other WILLING participant). They already know that if the marriage is truly as bad as the cheater claims, then he/she should have enough respect alone for the one they are pursuing or who is pursuing them to leave the marriage, that they vowed to be faithful to b4 there friends, family and GOD. And the excuse of well they could not leave for financial reasons B.S.. if a man or woman truly loves you or wants to be with you they will spend every last dime to make it happen. Also if they use the excuse that they dont wont to break up the family that is B.S. too bc the direct consequence of lieing and cheating is breaking up your family. And if you choose to believe the lies they tell, that one day he/she will in fact destroy their family for you, then what does that say about your integrity or lack there of? But more importantly the person you are TRYING (keyword as most remain as nothing more than hidden lies) to be with's integrity or lake ther of? How is it justifiable for anyone willing to help a man or woman destroy the trust and self-esteem of the unsuspecting spouse, then eventually the family and the home and the bank account they worked hard to earn and build together, then last but not least the children's perspective of what it means to be be in committed loving relationship? How could anyone willingly help a man or woman do this to their spouse and kids and then still somehow feel entitled to ask for anything, is beyond me? Did you bother to ask the person or persons who's life your were willing to help destroy ( 4 what you call love), if they were entitled to anything? You were helping destroy their entire life and betraying them to their very core and you are the one who is in need now? As for the excuses you loved them and they loved you and that somehow entitled you to act in a moral bankrupt manner, that to is B.S.. No one is ever entitled to hurt another (in most cases many others) in the name of what they deam love. Also for all the OW/M who blame the spouce for not being as good in bed or as imotioanally connected as the cheating spouce wanted or would have liked, then you should realize it was the person who vowed to be faithfuls obligation to speak up and give the person they claimed to love the opportunity to fix the problems or leave the unhappy relationship. Is it every someone's fault there spouce beats them when they did not fulfill the spouces emotional or sexual needs. No, I think not! So how is lieing to and cheating on a partner bc they did not fulfill their sexual or emotional needs any less painful. But what can you say after you know all this? You are the one who was hurting and all alone, you are the one entitled to the apology, you are the one entitled to the cheating spouses love, home, family and money. Well I say, you are as entitled to all that, the same as a abusive husband broken arm is entitled to a cast (that he broke hurting his wife). You see a marriage will never be a perfect union that is why marriage is hard, so if you cant stand the heat get out and if marriage is what you desire, get your own! Dont spread your legs on some one else's marrage like a cancer and then act as if you were equally as hurt. A dash of self respect, a sprinkle of dignety and a cup of empathy are all you need to prevent yourself from becoming a second rate homewrecker, who now for some insain reason feels entitled. Entitled to what ?Inflict even more pain in order to validate there on bad feelings or in most cases prevent any salvation of the marriage. B.S. u deserve every ounce of pain u got and then some. The only things you will ever be TRULY entitled to for what pain you have inflicted, is a big aplogy to everyone you were so eager to hurt (in the name of what you deamed love, in some cases lust), a Bible and hopefully forgiveness from the family you helped destroy and GOD, a good therapist to help you work on self respect, dignety and empathy so that hopefully you want spread your legs on anymore marriages ever again! You also deserve real love from a man who is truley head over hills for you, willing to tell the world about you, proud of the woman you are (or should be) bc your moral bank account is full and clean and Puts you first, you and only you! Why? B/c he truely does love you and only you and he is willing to do the hard work that marriages actually requir!

  17. Dedicated Melinda W. says:

    How is a woman or man who willingly enters a relationship with a married person entitled to anything especially an apology? First you knew upfront he/she was a lier and a cheat he/she lied to his spouse daily and was willing to cheat with you (if not you, then some other WILLING participant) They already know that if the marriage is truly as bad as the cheater claims then he should have enough respect alone for the one they are pursuing or who is pursuing them to leave the marriage that they vowed to be faithful b4 there friends, family and God. And the excuse of well they could not leave for financial reasons B.S.. if a man or woman truly loves you or wants to be with you they will spend every last dime to make it happen. Also if they use the excuse they dont wont to break up the family that is B.S. too bc the direct consequence of lieing and cheating is breaking up your family. And if you choose to believe the lies they tell, that one day he/she will in fact destroy their family for you, then what does that say about your integrity or lack there of? But more importantly the person you are TRYING (keyword as most remain as nothing more than a hidden lie) to be with's integrity or lake ther of? How is it justifiable for anyone willing to help a man or woman destroy the trust and self-esteem of the unsuspecting spouse, then eventually the family and the home and the bank account they worked hard to earn together, then last but not least children's perspective of what it means to be be in committed loving relationship? How could anyone willing help a man or woman do this to the spouse and kids and then still feel somehow entitled to ask for anything? Did you bother to ask the person or persons who's life your were willing to destroy for what you call love, if they were entitled to anything when you were helping their spouce destroy their entire life all while betraying them to their very core? As for the excuses you loved them and they loved you and that somehow entitled you to act in a moral bankrupt manner that is b.s. too. Bc I guess ever pedophile in the world would have a real defence in court (baised of this logic) if they said well I loved them and well

  18. tiffanygoodgirl says:

    I disagree. I spent 13 months in an LDR with a man I believed to be my boyfriend. I found out after 13 minths that he was married, with a child. I was devastated. He even tried to deny it when faced with the truth. And what did i get? Nothing. More lies, no apology and his wife calling me a home wrecker and a whore…..I am none of those things. I met a man and fell in love, it never occurred to me he could be married because we spent time together making plans like a normal couple. i think it depends on the situation. If a woman knows he is married then i wholeheartedly agree it is not right and the blame lands on her too, but am i to be blamed for my situation? No! I knew nothing and as soon as i found out i ended it. I never want to be the reason for another womans heartbreak or a family torn apart and yet he lied just to have his double life. I feel i deserve as much of an apology as his wife. But i wont get one. I dont know how women knowingly get involved like that. This tore me apart. I feel so sorry for his wife and it hurt to hear her call me those things as i was just as innocent as she was. But she lived him and rightfully so, he was her husband. I still cant brlieve he did it to me. He was a good liar. So so sad….

  19. Danni Smith says:

    Take these facts: he lives with a woman who he began his affair with while married, and they then began living together in her and her estranged hubby's home. He is a divorce planner who advised her to drop her divorce, (clearly seen on the Cook County Circiut Court website) so she could inherit all the marital assets. So, they began living together in 2005, and her husband died in 2010 and she inherited everything and earned her widow's social security pension. But, in 2011, still living with the once a cheater and once the other woman, he corrals another woman, a widow, with words of love and never mentions the other, other woman. And the new unwitting other woman, finds out on her own. She asks him, "WHY?". She is crushed, hurt, shocked by her discovery and he explains himself, with, "I was going to tell you at the appropriate time." Now who do you think deserves more? Then add this in: the deceived most recent other woman ends it and he calls her a "slut". Oh how I wish to place his name and her name herein.

  20. Pandora says:

    What a negative comment from a man that has clearly taken full advantage of the OW

  21. Lor77 says:

    Quite frankly, I've had it with all the cheating and carrying on! Come on people, Grow UP! If you want something else or your sex lives suck, then get counseling or get a damn divorce already. My ex was a malignant narc hole worse than Satan himself. He used every excuse known to man to justify cheating just like his did on his first wife, she warned me and I didn't listen. What a joke. He felt misunderstood, work was hard, the kids needed this and that, he felt he had to sacrifice his happiness all the time, he had manager stress at the business, I nagged too much, we were both too tired for sex, bla bla bla. The list goes on and on. But, what he always failed to mention is was he was a pathological liar. The most cunning of the cunning, he could sell an ice cream cone to an Eskimo. Some men you just can't please or vice versa. Everything was kosher as long as he could get his way all the time. That meant having a wife that worked at home and out of the house, running the office, running the kids around, cooking, cleaning, running errands, managing the money, managing church activities, managing the kids sports activities, being a slave servant to his every whim. Hence WAS THE MAJOR PROBLEM from day one he wanted a mother instead of a wife and wanted mistresses on the side for hot sex and variety. Well, he shouldn't have wasted anyones time then and he should have stayed single and not have brought kids into the world that had to grow up in a dysfunctional environment which caused me to have to be the bigger and better more mature person and put their interest first. No offense to these OW because they were fed a line worse than I was, but these OW have to realize these married men that cheat ARE NO GOOD! THEY ARE NO GOOD! Good men don't cheat on their wives, they either get counseling or get divorces first before wrecking multiple lives with lies. That was another thing my ex was notorious for playing the good old daddy, husband, and friend role. Mr. Christian, Mr. Found God, Mr. Choir Boy, Mr. Nice what a joke, he wouldn't know doing the right thing if it bit him on the ass. He should have at least had balls enough to admit he was an a**hole in life and love.

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