Once, Twice, Three Times A Cheater

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I remember the first time I started a blog with the intention of writing down the thoughts that haunted me for some time after my affair had ended. My thought process was complicated, mixed up with emotions, and all over the place. I figured it would help to write about what I couldn’t yet talk about. I remember writing in that blog for 3 months before deleting it, and before that I made sure to copy and paste every single entry I’d made up to that point and e-mailing it to myself. I remember worrying about how people, especially those who knew me, would react to my admittance to infidelity.  I didn’t keep the blog long enough to find out, but what I have learned is that I’ve made a lot of progress in the last year. My girlfriend and I are able to communicate openly about what happened, and what caused me to stray. Little by little we put the pieces of the puzzle back together and heal. The initial damage was deep and the pains I inflicted seemingly took with it a part of our heart and soul that will forever remain changed. I no longer struggle with the what ifs or wonder if I made the right decision when the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I fully realize the reason I had an affair and have had affairs in the past has always been because of my own shortcomings.

 

 ·  In my very first relationship with a woman, I was the other woman. I was 17 and she was 34 and married with a child. I am not proud of it and I do not condone what happened to me or what I’ve done to others.

·     There is no glory in such an act and this blog’s primary purpose is for me to write down and share my thoughts, and I will be brutally honesty throughout it all.

·     I will spend more time talking about my ex-other woman than my girlfriend and that’s simply a vital part of my own healing.

·     My relationship with my girlfriend and our healing process to this point has been a very private affair, and I will attempt to keep it that way as much as possible, but there will be times when the focus will shift to us, but not very often.

·     I take the blame for the entire affair and I have allowed my ex-other woman to lay blame solely at my feet from the beginning to the end of our relationship.  

·     That means, I don’t need to be told by anyone else that what I did was wrong. I patently know and accept this.

·     I am extremely sympathetic to people who have been cheated on and I understand my blog may evoke feelings within those who’ve had this happen. You’re entitled to those feelings and the opinion that might accompany them.

·     I’d probably judge me too if I were in your place, but then again, I’m not really so sure about that.

·     I will not publish nor do I welcome any insensitive comments.

·     Profanity will be used and often. I apologize in advance.  

Comments

comments

Comments

6 Responses to “Once, Twice, Three Times A Cheater”
  1. SteadyCat says:

    Thanks for posting this. Wow!

  2. Chanel says:

    This is gonna be deep…

  3. Alix says:

    I've been the other woman a couple of times. Eventually earning the title of girlfriend stealer. Like you, it's not something I'm proud of, but it's definitely something I've learned from.

  4. Chanel says:

    Ditto

  5. Tami says:

    i've been cheated on by my current gf back when were in HS. that shit hurt like nobody's business. OMG. my blog talks all about that. now, here we are, over 10 years later, back together. and i still have some trust issues. i love her with everything i have, but i wil never forget what happened. i have never cheated, and i never will.

    i know what its like to be the unsuspecting gf who gets her heart crushed because of what the love of her life has done.

    anyhow, glad you are two are healing and communicating. the latter is the key to a strong relationship

  6. AJ the DJ says:

    I have cheated many times. Camille and my first gf were the only two I've never cheated on. Aside from that, I did it. I observed as I got older that I just chilled out, and started to settle down. I feel you on this.

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