One of the riskiest moves I’ve made all year has been to put my heart on the line again. After a previous lovers escapade and many obstacles littering the way – resulting in the art of loss, I wondered if I had truly learned anything. I would soon find out in a relatively short time [...]
Stacked up high to my neck are these blocks of moments; where my brain storming the day she departed is torment. So instead I forego it.
And in reality, I’m just learning how to be happy again. Learning how to forget certain things and as for others…to start remembering.
Learning daily to resist the urge [...]
I think at some point if someone had just told me, “You are watching your girlfriend die.” I would have adopted a whole different attitude at the onset of the second diagnosis.
Perhaps a dose of reality with a shot of hypnosis.
It returned exactly one year and one day after the first cancer was found.
Nestled in the woods of Manitowish Waters, WI exists a place I’ve always considered a home away from home. Camp Jorn holds a special place in my heart. I distinctly remember my first journey to the Northwoods. How it was the first time I’d ever been away from home for more than a few days. [...]
Who is that beautiful body and soul
And why don’t they know
That what they must cherish is all natural
What they must learn is how to best play their role
In this great episode
How at times life’s rigors cause black blood to bleed most
Blue bloods ain’t got nothing on us truth be told
We’ve been sacrificed for ages, like [...]
I am not looking for my first time, as that happened years ago.
The Tremont Hotel Chicago was situated in an enclave, surrounded by the city view just off of the Magnificent Mile.
It was the second time she had come to visit and I was not looking for a good time.
I was a lover seeking love.
Grief is a motherfucker.
It has the tendency to exploit weaknesses, manifested as intense feeling and strong emotion about any and everything. It tends to place these precious vulnerabilities into tiny unkempt boxes, daring you to compartmentalize all that you have been bottling up to that moment. Boxed in like a baby cow waiting to become [...]
Fear of loss is a devastating sort of dread to live with. It consumes…
Each person’s healing path is different and unique to that individual. My own has grown out of a basic need to survive this final episode, based not only on personal experience and new-found resources discovered along the way, but on the knowledge [...]
Grief can be a very lonely process…
I picked up my cell phone which was wet from my tears. The touch screen had become unresponsive due to the moisture. I’d been on the phone with my mom for the greater part of the evening. She had become my stress release in the weeks prior [...]
I took a leave of absence from work to care for my girlfriend full-time when it was deemed that the second round of chemo was no longer working. I’m convinced that it accomplished the exact opposite result in fact. As fate would have it, the day my leave began would be the last night [...]