The Swag Report » advice

Lost In Thought

Knowledge — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 22:39:04 +0000

Today, I sit and contemplate, and wonder to myself because my mind takes me all over the place on days like this. I dig deep within and get frustrated at the direction the world is moving in. I look at culture and politics, status and class, social-networking and relationships and I’m left with anger and frustration that I often want to take out on that unsuspecting victim who had the misfortune of saying or typing something completely asinine that I had the displeasure of reading. Then, there are times when I say or do something so stupid and at odds with reality that I feel as though I have no room to talk. So, nine times out of ten I fume in my head, I fume privately, and I am left with the knowledge that at times life simply sucks for everybody.

But not always. Thank God not always. The wonderment to be found in just living is a treasure that should be cherished with every opportunity. It’s not rocket science. It is what it is. Whatever gives you comfort, revel in it, but don’t hurt hearts or crack heads, your own or anyone elses. It all matters in the end.

Hey Woman, If You’re Listening

Knowledge — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:00:54 +0000

You are beautiful, desirable, talented and intelligent, but you don’t believe a word of any of that. You have low self-esteem and your feelings don’t project how you really feel inside. You’ve held your emotional and psychological self together for so long. You appear confident, but you really aren’t.

The emotional and perhaps physical abuse you’ve suffered at the hands of men or women you’ve loved with all of your heart has caused you to become guarded, emotionally detached, suspicious, and often intolerable of the unknown aspects of the relationship, especially when you feel your worst.

Fear of any kind can be paralyzing, and you pray that your own does not allow you to overwhelm your needs, wants and desires.

Deep down and on the surface you are kind, nurturing and emotionally fragile. Friend’s and family describe you as being considerate and compassionate to a fault.

Don’t get me wrong, you are a wonderful, wounded soul who wishes for nothing more than romance in your relationship and true love in your life. But to attain it, you must begin to believe all of the positive things about yourself that you already know are true.

You must own all of the baggage you came with and begin to sort through the mess. The emotional luggage you’ve been carrying around is far too heavy for one person to bear alone. You get lonely sometimes and just want to be comforted, but you must empty your baggage off the shelf if you are to really begin anew.

You cannot go through life seeking what you felt you sorely missed all through out. No one can take the place of a good mother, loving and attentive father, and brothers and sisters, but you must not be afraid to deal with their abandonment of you if they ever choose this path for themselves. When your accusations precede the behavior you accuse your lover of engaging in when they have not, you’ve hurt not only them, but also yourself in the process.

Just because you fear that thing does not mean you must go and do everything in your power to make it happen, so you can no longer fear it never coming to pass, or doing so when you least expect it.

You gorgeous woman, yes, you are flawed, but you are genuine and worldly and no one can take that from you.

You have a beautiful child. You will raise him or her as best you can, doing your best to avoid making the same mistakes your parents did. Remember, though, mistakes will happen.

More importantly, remember that physical attraction only takes you so far and only lasts so long. Age differences can be overcome, but the foundation on which the relationship is based must be solid and deep.

All this talk of “keeping a man” is just another way to keep you down. You don’t need a man or woman to complete you. You must be happy with yourself first. You must be healthy inside and out, which will give you the courage to get to know yourself better than anyone else ever has. You must possess the ability to “keep yourself” before becoming concerned with trying to hold onto someone else.

Woman, please, love yourself so that you can love another. When all of the pieces start to fit together, and you love yourself even more than before, the quality of every aspect of your life will drastically improve.

How To Find And Approach A Stud

Knowledge — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:01:27 +0000

Hello! Im just coming out and being so i feel like im to late in the game (37yrs)..I try to approach ag studs but to me they seem to arrogant to picky to fussy its a bit to much for me to deal with the drama.. Im a bubbly person i like to laugh and be silly and i thought thats what females like to do or like in some one but Im becoming afraid to approach and thats not like me and i dont want to get tipsy to build up enough to approach a ag stud.Im from NJ across from NY and i know they all hangout in the city sooo im askin advice on how to approach and what to say and what not to say and where to meet ag studs.. PS loving the ag swag can’t turn back now!!!

Dear Lost and Confused,

Let me begin by saying thank you for sharing your question with me. I hope I can be of service to you! OK, let’s get right to it. There are lots of studs and AGs looking for women just like you so have no fear. You do not need to change one thing about yourself to attract who you’re looking for. You sound like you know who you are and have a great attitude about life in general. It also sounds like you’re running into the wrong studs, for starters, but we’re all allowed to bump our head a few times before we find our niche and can weed out the undesirables.

My girlfriend came into the game at a later stage in her life and we didn’t meet in the “traditional” way either. We met online and her bubbly personality was exactly what drew me to her initially. She has a really great spirit and it sounds like you do too. Studs love a femme with a great personality because we see you as someone who will compliment our own, and most studs are very low key with charming demeanor’s so this is a nice combination. We see you as the ying to our yang. The fact that you’re attracted to Ags and studs tells me that you need to resort to some non-traditional ways of meeting one who is on the same page as you.

I don’t recommend trying to meet studs or AGs in clubs or bars because nine times out of ten they’re already taken and the ones who aren’t are already playing. With that said, don’t count out finding love online. The Internet is wrack full of social networking websites that have blown up and lesbians can be found in mass on all of them. Single studs are everywhere online and off.

If you haven’t already, make an account on downelink, myspace, facebook or all three. There’s also a rapidly growing lesbian community on twitter full of bois, studs and AGs who are single and looking. Afterellen.com is another one. LGBT sports associations are breeding grounds for studs and butches.

When it comes right down to it and you’re out and about and you see a stud you want to approach with a burning passion, I suggest walking right up to her with a beautiful smile on your face and introducing yourself. Let your eyes do the initial talking, then let her know that you noticed her and wanted to say hello. There is nothing sexier than a beautiful, confident woman approaching with the purpose of letting us know know they find us attractive. It’s a pleasant disarming feeling and it’s something every stud wants, especially the shy ones.

A good number of us are wary of approaching feminine women for fear of not only rejection , but of not knowing for certain if you’re actually a lesbian. Studs wear their sexuality out loud so most times it’s easy for a woman to determine that we’re gay. We don’t have the same advantage when it comes to femme or femme appearing lesbians. Most studs greatly appreciate a woman who is confident enough to approach first. Once you’ve made your intentions known, you can sit back and let us do the talking. If a stud is not responding to the straight forward approach, odds are they aren’t attracted romantically, but there’s also the opportunity for friendship. This too has the propensity to lead to relationships.

I wish you the best of luck, and please, don’t give up just because of what you’ve come across so far. The best is yet to come.

Sincerely,

Knowledge

knowledge@studwithswag.com