Love Never Dies
Grief is a motherfucker.
It has the tendency to exploit weaknesses, manifested as intense feeling and strong emotion about any and everything. It tends to place these precious vulnerabilities into tiny unkempt boxes, daring you to compartmentalize all that you have been bottling up to that moment. Boxed in like a baby cow waiting to become [...]
A Solitary Excursion
Fear of loss is a devastating sort of dread to live with. It consumes…
Each person’s healing path is different and unique to that individual. My own has grown out of a basic need to survive this final episode, based not only on personal experience and new-found resources discovered along the way, but on the knowledge [...]
Living in the Moment
Grief can be a very lonely process…
I picked up my cell phone which was wet from my tears. The touch screen had become unresponsive due to the moisture. I’d been on the phone with my mom for the greater part of the evening. She had become my stress release in the weeks prior [...]
One Day at a Time
I took a leave of absence from work to care for my girlfriend full-time when it was deemed that the second round of chemo was no longer working. I’m convinced that it accomplished the exact opposite result in fact. As fate would have it, the day my leave began would be the last night [...]
The Longest Day
The hurt I feel inside seems unbearable but I know it is bearable in its very nature because after all – I am bearing it. I have questioned myself and everything around since the day my girlfriend died. Just last April she was misdiagnosed with stage III breast cancer. It should have been stage IV. [...]
The Other Shoe
Today was my first day back at work since Kelly passed. It was unremarkable, save for a few tears here and there that I did my best to hide while shedding. How insignificant and ordinary everything becomes without your best friend and/or soul mate to help liven up the day. She always managed to do [...]
In Loving Memory of My Girlfriend
My girlfriend, best friend, confidant and soul mate passed away after a valiant fight against an especially aggressive breast cancer. She was the light of my life and many others as she affected each and every one of us in her own special way. She was a vibrant spirit – containing a [...]
There Are Warriors Of All Kinds
“You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel no matter how hard you try.”
That quote is in reference to just some of the things I have been feeling quite deeply lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind, [...]
A Labor of Love
The first few months following my daughter’s birth were an absolute whirlwind. Primarily a result of my increasing insecurity, exacerbated by semi-crippling anxiety about whether or not I’d be the best parent I could possibly be for her. I worried that our bond would be negatively impacted if our legal relationship, especially, was to never [...]
Baby Journal: November 24, 2010
November 24, 2010
Today is Zoey’s 8th day on earth and I couldn’t be happier to come home to the little precious bundle every night. I work during the day so I spend as much time with her in the evenings and mornings as I can. I’ve changed more pampers than I care to count, and [...]
