Write from the heart.
Be unique, original and think outside the box.
Don’t follow every new trend.
Proofread, critique and enhance my craft.
Get faster and better at responding to comments.
Read and process first, debate later. Rinse and repeat.
Continue to respect all comments and opinions.
Make the most out of my creativity.
Exhibit diligence when organizing my blog for optimal online searching.
Network, network, network and start building a firm outbound and inbound link(s) framework.
Link to other sites even if they don’t link back.
“Content is King” — Quality writing trumps a contentless multitude of posts.
Don’t set deadlines that cannot be met.
Develop a regular posting schedule.
Utilize my leather bound journal to jot down future post ideas.
Make sure every post is well thought out.
Don’t ignore important topics just because they’ve already been written about.
Keep my chaos more organized.
Skim all posts prior to publishing.
Promote my blog whenever possible.
Seek and welcome guest bloggers with topics of interest.
Enhance and maintain blog design. Fix any errors.
Interact more with my readers.
Learn from those who have done it longer ~ learn from the best.
Stay humble and hone my skills

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image. The List by Thrife.

In my twenties…
I stopped listening to the crowd.
I never went along anyway.
And was often the odd one out.
I would find myself going.
In the opposite direction.
What I didn’t realize then.
Was that I was self-deflecting.
You know the gay saying “I can’t even think straight”.
I realized some thoughts I held onto were self-destructive as fate. I mean fuck. Insecurity took over and I’d often feel anxious about where I was going, where I would be 5-10 years from the day that a young stud would be turning twenty. Deep thoughts were not welcome because I barely knew who I was or what I wanted. I wondered whom exactly I was living for; myself or somebody else. I was losing all control and that helplessness was strongly felt. I never considered what I learned a waste though, not once. I took what I learned and never looked back. That higher learning has proven invaluable time and time again.

In my later twenties…
I started to realize that I was selfish,
And that most people inherently are.
Whether they admit it or choose to embellish.
The friendships I fostered were from afar.
Funny cause in my early twenties I didn’t quite know just who I was. I took for granted lasting friendships, thinking random girls were what was up. I realized that the most important connections I’d ever made were the ones in which I’d already lost touch. I reconnected with some, but lives take twists and turns and naturally those relationships evolve into something else if there is no growth in the interim. I blame myself mostly, for being a hermit in disguise and not thinking twice about it while on the ride that was my life.

In my early twenties…
I didn’t mind being the new person wherever I was.
Starting over and developing relationships,
But never claiming to be novice.
Personal friendships that I attained,
Are near and dear to me to this day.
I look at what I do and although it’s more than sufficient, it really isn’t anywhere close to what I thought would be intrinsic. When my opinions weren’t as strong and I wasn’t as judgmental as everyone. When rose-colored glasses were worn for fun. I lived in my head, one day at a time, while life took shape and forged right on. The boundaries I established early on were either extended or broken down. As I approached my 30 years I felt far more secure within myself.

In my middle twenties…
My decisions were no longer based on,
“it’s me against the world”
Change was no longer the enemy
And that was one hell of a battle.
I’ve learned to appreciate.
Every opportunity that comes with change.
Every learning curve that comes with age.
As life moves forward, so do I. Throughout encounters and heartbreaks. Sometimes there were breakthroughs and I’d wonder how someone I loved so much could hurt me so. Soon enough I’d be wondering how I could hurt someone I loved so much and still deserve to be loved and touched.

There comes a point in all of our lives where we go through emotions, battle with thoughts, feel lost and alone and still we’re able to come out on top. We find the answers to the questions plaguing our minds and it’s not for naught. Answers we realize through experiencing most of what life has offered us. No one has the answers to everything, but knowledge is an everlasting, evolving process and that simple concept is one I love. Upon reaching turning points we must constantly embrace change and differences and most importantly an open mind. Thought I’d never realize that having a companion means far more than having a few women on the side. Decisions are firm as I take life on. Constantly overcoming new twists and turns. I focus on what’s inside and no longer am I. All wrapped up in my own selfish wants, neglecting my needs for foolish pride. 

image by Nonetta

My mom’s oldest brother was my favorite uncle. He passed away a few weeks ago from complications of an inoperable tumor. Although he was sick for some time his death was sudden. He had so much good left in him to share with others, but I know he’s in a peaceful place now. He left behind my aunt Diane, brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles. He had no children. Throughout everything, my mom has been surprisingly strong, but seeing her pain as she quietly cried at the service was particularly hard to witness.

When my mom told me my uncle passed I knew the realization that he was was gone was something she wouldn’t have to struggle with. We knew he was sick, but not the extent of his illness. We didn’t get to see him before he died, however mom talked to him on the phone for as long as he could muster just a few days before his passing. He made sure she knew how much he loved her and a few days later he was gone. I was so sad, but I knew that my sorrow couldn’t compare to how mom must have been feeling.

My uncle was a very gentle man with a deep seated spirit that centered around helping those in need. He reminded me so much of my grandmother with his sensitivity and kindness. He was quiet yet forceful and as a doctor he dedicated his life to helping others and assisting them in making important decisions about their well being. He devoted his livelihood to making a positive impact on peoples lives.  

His passing, coupled with reconnecting with my moms side of the family while at his memorial, has given me renewed resolve.  To live and love more than I have previously is a concerted effort I am gladly making. I tell my brothers and sisters just how much I care about them. I take five minutes out of my day to embrace my sappy side. More complementing, less criticizing, and lots of hugs and kisses passed around. You just never know when you’ll get to do those things again, so life has taken on a slightly altered meaning. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

I wrote this poem in honor of my uncle.

In Loving Memory: Milton David Watkins M.D. (1950-2009)

 Love Never Dies

We hold a gem in our hearts

And think of him with love today

But that is nothing new

Kind – loving  – generous

Playful and adventurous

He was full of laughter

With a spirit fun-filled

And that’s the way we’ll always remember

Dear uncle Milton

On the day you changed our family’s life

A 9-year-old’s heart swelled with pride

I never got to tell you that

You became my hero for life

Thank you for sending that white butterfly our way

You’re resting in peace with grandma now

Your body is gone but your spirit lives on

Strong while alive you spread your wings wide

And touched each and every one of us

Until the day we cross over too

Family won’t be complete

Although your bright light shines no more

We wish you the sweetest adieu

For with every tear shed

And every smile shared

We take this moment

To honor you

image by Rach