The Swag Report » Movie Reviews

Killers & Knight and Day Movie Reviews

Knowledge — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 18:17:51 +0000

Movie review of a double feature “Killers” and “Knight and Day”.

My wife and I were having one of those days, we just could not decide which movie to see so we went with both, Killers and Knight and Day. We saw Killers first and by far it was the best. Ashton Kucher makes you believe he is the boy next door and he falls head over heals in love with Katherine Heigl. He is so in love he quits his job as assassin, marries and moves to suburbia. Three and a half years go by and all is well then as you would expect his past comes back to haunt him.

I laughed almost the entire movie. I am however prone to seeing the funny side of life. My laugh is contagious and I had quite a few people laughing with or at me. The one liners, the questioning looks, the double meanings, they were all hilarious. Robert Luketic, the director made it all happen. I don’t normally mention directors, I just don’t. In this case I think he is responsible for the success of the movie.

Knight and Day, Tom Cruise in another ridiculous action movie and this is action packed. If you are in the “need for speed” then by all means see this film. Cameron Diaz is believable at the beginning and then loses all credibility when she starts to enjoy the action. There is just too much action for my taste but then again maybe you would like to see Tom Cruise kill all the professionals that are after him.

Cameron Diaz does keep the movie funny and has some great spots. I think this movie will do much better in the DVD rental time slot.

So Killers Yes Knight and Day No.

John Drew

Robin Hood (2010)

Knowledge — Thu, 20 May 2010 22:17:10 +0000

I must apologize for my long absences from my movie reviews, I must, I just don’t know why I was not going to the movies. Possibly walking out of several movies didn’t help; Steve Carell needs to stop making movies. Enough about my problems lets talk:

“ROBIN HOOD”

This movie is about Truth, Honor, Commitment and Love. There are not as many fighting scenes as you might expect there are however thoughtful dramatic scenes that get you thinking of how you might have made a different decision. Laughter is also present and they are large laugh out loud moments. Russell Crow is perfect for this persona of Robin Hood. Robin Hood has been played by Douglas Fairbanks 1922, Errol Flynn 1938, Sean Connery 1976, Kevin Costner 1991, and now Russell Crow 2010. All before Russell Crow went down the traditional rob from the rich and give to the poor. Not this Robin, not now, not here. Think Magna Carta and how that document formed our beliefs. What does it mean to be free, really free?

I have included two links to Wikipedia that I hope you look at and enjoy as much as I did.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood is a great place to go and get the history of Robin Hood.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magna_Carta find out what all the fuss was about, this is important and you may find out why we have some of our freedoms.

I would like to know from you if this is the kind of review you like or do you want the plot line and story synopsis?

This Movie is a MUST SEE

John Drew

A Mini Review Of Avatar

Knowledge — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:24:22 +0000

Avatar: A must see 3D movie. This movie is a compilation of innuendo and spirituality. The planet we are on during the movie is called Pandora, and the ore being mined is called Unobtanium. The scientist in charge of communicating with and understanding the natives is Grace Augustine.

We start with Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) our hero, and then we pick up characters until we get to our heroine, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and this is when the movie really starts to take off. The premise is that we have found precious ore on a planet that we can neither breathe on or communicate with the natural inhabitants who we believe are sub-human. Sound familiar? The solution is the typical American Capitalist response, “if they won’t negotiate with us we will just have to move them off the land”. There is the anthropologist/scientist, Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) who is trying to help the indigenous people. Through science and technology they find out that we can create AVATARS of ourselves and to enable us to walk on the planet and deal with the inhabitants. Jake’s twin brother is a biologist who has had an Avatar made for him, but he is killed in an automobile accident and Jake, being his twin, has the same genetics which allow him to morph with his brother’s Avatar.

Jake is an ex-marine, if there is such a thing, who has lost the use of his legs. When Jake becomes the Avatar he can walk, run, jump and do everything he use to be able to do. So Jake is reborn and finds love on Pandora with one of the natives. Don’t forget the ore; the company must get the ore. There are millions of dollars to be made, which is the primary reason behind for why the ore must be mined. Jake is back in the lab every night giving a report on what he has found out about the Na’vi, the native people of Pandora. As Jake moves back and forth from human to Avatar he is becoming more in tune with the Na’vi and Neytiri, his love interest, and who wouldn’t. For a ten foot blue person, she is HOT. Sorry, I dig ten foot tall blue babes.

The cinematography is fantastic and would be worth seeing even without the great story line that we are given. Take a chance and go to see this movie. Do not only see it, but feel it, most importantly. I highly recommend this movie, and to see it in 3D, you can’t ask for a better movie going experience than that.

John Drew

The Invention of Lying

Knowledge — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:41:59 +0000

The Invention of Lying is a movie with two edges, one dull and one sharp. Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner make an odd couple who are almost too opposite for any attraction. The premise of the movie is that everyone tells the truth. There is nothing else to do and if you
have ever said aloud something that you were just thinking then you can understand this movie. When the waiter comes to the table, during Gervais and Garner’s first date, he tells Gervais that he is in way over his head and this girl is too good for him, she agrees. The
waiter then asks Garner, “If I ask for your Number will you give it to me? Hesitation, no she says” and that is a flavor of how this world works, everyone says what he or she think and they are very blunt.

The movie is slow and I almost left, then Gervais goes to see his mother, who is dying, in the hospital. The hospital staff have told him that she should be the next one to die. He is upset and sits with his mother to console her during her final hours. When she tells him how afraid she is to go into the black obis he wants to say something and he thinks and thinks and then he says, “Mom, it is not a black obis but a beautiful place where you will be with all your friends”. He continues, “Everyone will be given a mansion and it will be beautiful and you will be with all of your family that has died”. His mother smiles and dies…..Behind him are 4 or 5 hospital staff that have heard everything he said and want to know more. Please tell us about the mansions and what else will be there when we die.

He escaped the hospital room by the does not get free from his comments. People find out that there is hope for after you die and go to his apartment building and hold an all night candle light vigil. He finely comes up with the meat of the film the reason to stay and watch the beginning of religion. The phrase that I am using from the movie is “The Man In The Sky”. Gervais tells the people that there is a man in the sky and he told Gervais all of this stuff. At one point the
people love the man in the sky, then they turn on him “Fuck the Man in the Sky” was the cry of the crowd. Then after more talking and explanations they accept the man in the sky and the story that we all know of another “Man in the Sky” goes on to become more fact than fiction because they still don’t know how to lie.

The best catch phrase I have heard in a long time “The Man in the Sky said” ranks right up there with “Do you have your towel” from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

John Drew

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfUZND486Ik[/youtube]

Precious Movie Trailer

Knowledge — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:54:27 +0000

Directed by Lee Daniels’ the film is set in Harlem in 1987. It is the story of Claireece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe), a sixteen-year-old African-American girl born into a life no one would want. She’s pregnant for the second time by her absent father; at home, she must wait hand and foot on her mother (Mo’Nique), a poisonously angry woman who abuses her emotionally and physically. School is a place of chaos, and Precious has reached the ninth grade with good marks and an awful secret: she can neither read nor write.

Precious may sometimes be down, but she is never out. Beneath her impassive expression is a watchful, curious young woman with an inchoate but unshakeable sense that other possibilities exist for her. Threatened with expulsion, Precious is offered the chance to transfer to an alternative school, Each One/Teach One. Precious doesn’t know the meaning of “alternative,” but her instincts tell her this is the chance she has been waiting for. In the literacy workshop taught by the patient yet firm Ms. Rain (Paula Patton), Precious begins a journey that will lead her from darkness, pain and powerlessness to light, love and self-determination.

This film is set for limited release on November 6, 2009. The trailer looks amazing. Tyler Perry and Oprah have come together to bring us another inspiring moment of truth. I’m looking forward to seeing it. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it. If you’re anything like me, you’ll read it in a day. Push by Sapphire. It will move you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5FYahzVU44[/youtube]

Afro Samurai

Knowledge — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 03:17:10 +0000

I had no knowledge that vividly detailed Japanese animated manga film titled Afro Samurai was floating around the Internet and onto a Spike TV time slot until the latter part of 2008. But, I’m not here to make excuses and besides it was well worth the wait and then some. It takes a truly special anime to overtake Fist of the North Star from my number one all time favorites spot. Although Afro Samurai’s coup was swift and decisive I must pay homage to Fist of the North Star before getting to the nitty gritty of some of what makes Samurai so pleasing to my senses starting with my sense of sight and ending with a taste for more. First things first, the cool factor is on over drive from Samuel Jackson’s convincing voice, RZA’s original music production, Samuel Jackson’s double voice action. Last but not least the subtle yet sweet hints of an underlying Blaxploitation Noir combined with western black and eastern Asian culture. What results is a violently dazzling yet familiar mix of high details and technical graphics that fuel this Samurai action flick. Every fight scene features sleek choreography and moves that more than make up for the tepid simplicity of the story line. Oddly enough, this only adds to its appeal and allows me to focus on Afro’s internal and external battles. As if I’m not gushing enough, I wish to convey that this bad boy is solid.

At some point I had to be honest with myself and admit that Afro Samurai quenches my thirst for ultra violent rays of blood splatter and glistening liquid swords. And soul searching, there is a lot of that going on. I can dig.

Dramatic? Not really, now on to the juicy bits. The plot is easy enough to follow, but it’s the action that keeps you anticipating the next move once it really revs into high gear. Afro is on a mission and his number one objective is revenge, more specifically, he aims to avenge his father’s death which he witnessed at a very young age. He watches his father sword fight a numbered head band wearing warrior to the death. The warriors name is Justice and from that moment on Afro’s search for Justice consumes him and will ultimately determine his future. You see, Afro’s father wore the number One head band and was subsequently challenged by Justice, the warrior who wore the number Two head band. After his fathers death Afro’s challenges and burdens become greater and heavier as he eventually acquires the number Two head band for himself and thus continues a family legacy brimming with murder and redemption. He seals his fate by making himself a target of every man who seeks to be number One. This seemingly untouchable “God”-like warrior who can only be challenged by whomever owns the number Two who, alternately, can be challenged by any and everyone. His past will haunt him from youth into adulthood and he will face an uphill battle that spans his life and forces him to face his past time and again while reconciling past choices that have led him to face his toughest battle yet. Did I mention he’s a weed toking Samurai with a super sarcastic “sidekick” who always keeps it real. If you’re an anime fan and haven’t checked this one out then please do; you won’t be disappointed. It is dope, no pun intended.

For now, enjoy a preview. Warning: Language and Violence

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm99ftaD9XQ[/youtube]

Coming soon: Review of Afro Samurai Resurrection

Movie Review: Taken

Knowledge — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:22:33 +0000

Liam Neeson is a great action hero. He makes you believe that you don’t want to feel his wrath. The problem with Taken is, “Why the hell would anyone want to save that that spoiled brat “Kim”, played by Maggie Grace. She was great as a spoiled, shallow, self centered, rich, bitch. The action scenes were great as Bryan Mills, played by Liam Neeson, was everything a super hero is supposed to be. He kills and or shoots everyone he comes in contact with, well almost everyone. His ex-wife Lenore, played by Famke Janssen, all her old friends call her Len, which pisses her off, was also quite good as an ex-wife that like the rich life she has obtained, somehow no one knows.

How did it go? Well here it is; rich girls goes to Europe to follow the U-2 tour, gets captured by Albanians, father goes to Paris and kills all of the Albanians and a few Arabs just to keep up with the times and takes daughter home, the end.
Now for the “what the fuck” Who was the girl Bryan saves? Did she get home? Was she happy? Did anyone else get saved by the Paris Police after Bryan shot up the Whore Houses? Why didn’t Kim ask about the girl she went to Paris with? How did Bryan not get shot? Are all Albanians that inept? When they get back to the good old USA Bryan is going to take a cab from the airport? Why didn’t Kim want to make him part of her life after he saved her from the Albanian Prostitute ring and the Sheik that had bought her at an auction?
One of the best scenes was when Bryan shot the wife of the Paris police deputy director of Internal Security who use to be his friend, YOU THINK? Now that was Liam just having fun with his gun.
Go for the action but don’t look for a story.

By John Drew

Gainesville, FL